That is a rather unclear statement, I am unsure if you are saying that people resist CoC because they want attention, or if people invent CoC because they want attention. In fact, it is unclear of the logical reasoning from “people want attention” and the rest of the argument.
Also, saying “communicate and behave differently” is a rather misleading way of presenting things.
Technically, shouting racist insults would indeed be “different”. But the difference per se is not the problem, the inherent aggression and its consequences of driving people away is what we want to prevent.
Reducing that to “communicate differently” is also ignoring that CoC violations are looked in context, that people usually have time to explain themselves, to reflect, etc.
Let me just quote a peer-reviewed scientific paper on CoC ( on https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/abstract/document/7884606 ):
According to Hermans [15], codes of conduct should trigger
discussion and change people’s minds. She believes that if
the code of conduct does not induce some pushback, it is not
working properly. While she is referring to conference codes
of conduct, we share her vision of codes of conduct as the
discussion and reflection vehicle.
The pushback is a inherent part of the CoC process, caused by the reflection of people own behavior.
And I can understand why, as people tend to equate CoC with “OMG, people are going to ban me because I said something somewhere”. But this is not what happen in practice.
In practice, there is plenty of discussion, there is warnings, there is context. To get banned, you need to have several people reporting you, several times, and ignoring warning several time.
Since all of this is done privately (since that’s usually why the reported people seems to want), people just see the final outcome (someone banned/moderated) and conclude nothing else happened.
Mozilla has document documenting the consequences of CoC violation and while, as said in the document, people can start directly at level 7, this is not what happen in practice:
You can see in the Fedora CoC report that in 2020, the vast majority of tickets resulted in warning, with a 50% decrease for each ladder. You can also look up at others reports from others community to see the same trends.
So yeah, there is pushback, but the pushback is also the occasion to explain to people what the CoC does, far from false ideas propagated by a few people.